Care
by HaiImCourtney13
Summary: Do you still care? Or do I sit here. Running in place, with my hands in my hair? And what if I said that my friends hate my guts. Cause all I talk about is how it was. Rated M for a reason. VERY angsty. I will not apologize. Very sensitive subjects in this fic. Just a one shot, lovelies.


**This is a oneshot. Angsty. I have not written angst in a very long time, and I hope that this is up to the stand-**  
**ards of others. Pairing: Kevin x Edd. Warnings: Angst, self-harm, depression, and another surprise I shall let you all find out for yourselves. Alright. Enjoy, my fellow KevEdd shippers. I love you. **

**PS I will not apologize for this. At all.  
**

**Although I will say I don't own anything but the plot int this story.**

**I also own Joey. :3**

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**Chapter Tracks: Care by Joel Faviere; Meet Me On The Equinox by Death Cab For Cutie; Stay Away From My Friends by Pierce The Veil**

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Double D sat crying on his bed. It had been months, and still all he could think about was and a half years they were together. Then he met that new guy. Joey. Their relationship ended no less than 3 months ago, and Double D was still hurt by it. It was abrupt and out of nowhere. Even the other two Eds had lost their hope in him; all he ever did when he was with them was cry. He stood and slid the sleeve of his hoodie up. He looked at his arm, the cuts in a neat pattern going up to his elbow. He slid the other sleeve up and began a new pattern. He wished Kevin could feel his pain, could feel how bad it hurts. They were so perfect together, so unlikely, yet they got along so well. He wished Kevin still cared. He wished that his parents cared. He had no one anymore. He pushed anyone who wanted to be there away, because he didn't want to bother them. His studies had been long forgotten. He sobbed and his chest heaved. He heard a knock on the door downstairs, and hurriedly cleaned up the cuts. The small, thin boy covered his wrists and slowly trudged downstairs.

"Double D, open up. It's Nazz," he heard the voice call from behind the door. He opened it and looked at her.

"Greetings Nazz. May I be of assistance to you?" The small blonde girl pushed her way into his house.

"Double D, you've got to get over Kevin. It's been three months. Just forget about him!" Double D swiftly turned around and his eyes turned into slits.

"My apologies, Nazz, but were you with him for almost three years? Did you have relations with him? Did you...did you expose yourself to him, the way that I did? I'm sorry, but I do not think that you did. My apologies that he made me fall in love with him, that he dragged me alone for two and a half years and that I am unable to "just forget" about him!" Edd didn't realize how much his voice had risen. He closed his eyes with a frustrated sigh.

"Double D.."

"Nazz, would you mind leaving, please?" She looked at him sympathetically.

"Double D no-"

"No, Nazz. I-I lost my virginity to him, and he lost his to me. And he broke up with me for that Joey boy. Almost three years, pardon my French, to shit because YOU decided to introduce him to your friend. Please, Nazz. Just leave my home." She rolled her eyes and flicked him off as she left.

"Faggot." He slammed the door and let out a frustrated scream. This was one of the many times he was glad he was home alone. One of the many times he was glad his parents didn't care about him. He thought of Kevin, who stayed the night over at his house every night he was home alone. His thought drifted to what he was probably doing with Joey right now, and Edd punched his wall. He ran upstairs into his room and sobbed into the bed. He looked at his desk to see notebooks that hadn't been opened in weeks. He trudged over to his desk and opened one up to see a doodle of him and Kevin. His eyes filled with tears and he ripped it out. He went through every single notebook checking for things of Kevin, ripping them out and piling them in the center of his room. He heard his phone go off as he was looking for a light or a match. He had become so unorganized and he didn't even care anymore. He found a match and struck it, then proceeded to throw it onto the surprisingly large pile of notebooks papers in the middle of the floor.

He watched as it caught fire, smiling. He glanced at his phone and saw the numbers.

_-65 Unread Messages.- _

He decided to open them and look through them. They were from the cul-de-sac kids, calling him a faggot and a nerd and a queer and worthless. He couldn't believe it. He didn't do anything to any of them. He merely punched Joey in the face. Kevin was the one they should be calling these rude names, not him. He let out another scream that turned into sobs. He grabbed his bottle of water and opened it, dousing the flames. He took a ball-point pen and a purple notebook. He remembered that purple was Kevin's favourite colour. He growled and he scribbled out a note and threw it hastily on the desk. And he began to prepare for what exactly that note said he was going to do. He went to the bathroom and turned the water in the bathtub on. He walked back into his room and open the drawer of his desk and found his scalpel, sharpened to such a point it was lethal. He carried it to the bathroom with him, along with his phone.

He texted the cul-de-sac kids. Ed, Eddy, Nazz, Rolf, Jimmy, Sarah, Johnny, and...Kevin. He set it was a group message. He smiled sadistically as he  
typed out the message.

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**_For those of you who even have a slightest bit of care for me left; I want to apologize for whatever it is that I have done to make you all hate me so religiously. I would like to apologize to my former friends for never being good enough. I would like to apologize to Kevin for being to..whatever I was to you, that made you leave me and drop me like I was a mere piece of meat. But don't worry, former friends. No, do not fret. I shall be out of all your ways in due time, do not worry. I shall like to make one last apology. I'm sorry for what you are going to find by the time you get this text, or care enough to even read it. _**

**_Love Always. Double D_**

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The boy hadn't been eating, only drinking water and tea. It was a surprise that he wasn't dead already. He stripped down to his boxers and examined the scabs and cuts across the skin that was stretched taut over his ribs. He turned the water off and grabbed the scalpel, and sunk into the hot water.

He heard his phone going off and they texted him back but he just smiled. "They'll care now," he murmured to himself and he sunk the tip of the scalpel into his wrist and slid it downwards towards his elbow. He gasped at how much blood there actually was, and did the same with the other arm. He'd be gone in no time. There was no going back. He grabbed his phone and dialed Kevin's number. He made a mistake. He didn't want this anymore. He changed his mind.

He didn't want to die, he realized.

He just wanted attention.

He wanted someone to care.

_To just...**care**..._

"K-Kevin..."

"Edd, what the hell is going on?"

"So...So much blood...Kevin...I love you..." the pale boy grasped the hat on his head and pulled it off. He could feel himself drifting. He was losing blood, and fast. He didn't want to die. He thought he did but he just wanted someone to care about him. But it was too late now, wasn't it.

"Eddward!" He could vaguely hear Kevin screamed on the other end of the phone as he dropped it onto the floor next to the tub. He was lightheaded, slowly drifting into oblivion, yet it was all happening so fast. He heard faint banging on the front door downstairs. Tears welled in his eyes and he screamed the loudest scream he could muster.

"Take me already, goddamn it! Just take me!" He could see his vision was getting blurry and he heard the door break downstairs. The sound of multiple footsteps could be heard trampling up the steps. He smiled as his eyes began to close. He felt himself trailing off peacefully;

Then suddenly, he felt nothing.

"Double D!" He heard Ed shout. "Double D it's okay I promise! Please don't leave me!" He sobbed quietly as he heard them go into his room.

"Check the bathroom," Nazz had said quietly. Kevin burst into the bathroom to see an unconscious Edd, wrists still bleeding, turning the bathwater a sickly red colour.

"Call 9-1-1, Nazz, what the fuck are you waiting on?" Kevin screamed with tears streaming down his face.

"Numbskull, he cut down. It's unreparable.." Eddy trailed off, sitting on the floor, silent tears streaming down his face.

"Eddy...this is all our faults, isn't it?" The tallest Ed asked quietly, sitting next to him.

"Yeah, buddy. It is." Kevin pulled the boy out of the water and hugged his limp body close. Nazz went and sat down with Eddy and Ed, and the three curled into a ball and cried together. Ed was still clutching the suicide note he left.

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**Dearest Friends, Dearest Family:**

**I love you all, I honestly do. This is selfish of me, I know. But I honestly feel that I cannot go on. I have tried to forget about Kevin, I have tried to forget the fact that none of you would like to be friends with me any longer. But I still wonder. How would all of you feel if it was you? Please, tell my mother and my father I am sorry. Although it won't be much different for them now, tell them I love them. Please, do not mourn for me. I do not wish that you all will feel guilty now that I am gone. Because there would be no honest way for any of you to fix this, even if you could save my life. Kevin. I love you. I always will. I am aware that you have moved on but you do not understand. I know you no longer love me. I wish you did. But you don't. So I am out of your life, and the lives of everyone else that now detests my existence. I'm sorry.**

**I love you. Goodbye.**

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Kevin sobbed as Double D was truly gone.

"I love you too, Double Dork.." And all of the kids in the house sobbed over the suicide of the friend that they pushed away, for reasons still unknown to even them.


End file.
